Rough Edges :(

  

 At times like this ,i keep thinking of the rights ,the wrongs ,the good and the bad. But i end up getting all wrapped up inside wondering why in the world  amd i doing this to myself when life can be much easier if i had planned things properly.

No happy ever after ,Just Disaster ='(

I'm trying not to pretend that it wont happen again, and again like that 

Never thought it would end, cuz you got up in my head, in my head like that  

You made me happy baby, love is crazy, so amazing  

But it's changing, rearranging I don't think I can take anymore

Cuz the walls burned up and our love fell down  

And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never  

Feel the fire cuz it's all around and it's burning 

For forever and always  

We gotta let it go, be on our way  

Live for another day, cuz it ain't the same, my baby  

Watch it all fallin to the ground  

No happy ever after, just disaster

I didn't want it this way, I only wanted to say  

I loved you right 

But now you walkin away, and leavin me here to stay  

So foolish of me to wait for you to realize  

All the things I gave you,did for you

When I met you, now forget you  

Don't want anymore

You shot the bullet , you shot the bullet that killed me  

Not feeling my heart beat, and I was dyin 

 I I've been through it, I I've been through the agony 

And now my eyes are, dryin, tryin, no more cryin,  

Like it's just a game,  

So disaster strikes and I'm all right  

Coz i've been prepared for this kinda hurt

No happy ever after ,Just Disaster  D=
 

C O N F U S E D

At times we're okay and at times we're not... I wonder where we are now. Are there any secrets between you n me? As far as i know ,i've told u evrything n i know u have too.... Then dont u trust me anymore. I have this really cool people around me all the time... I rely on this girl ,my best friend. She has got experiences just like mine... I share with her things i dun share with all the others. I really appreciate her listening to me. Sometimes i feel like crying on her shoulders coz i dun have urs to cry on. I feel ur backing away....Is that right? Im trying as hard as i can to keep us intact... It feels like ur not putting in any effort at all. Dont u love me anymore? What u said when we were together? That u'll always be with me ,that im ur everything ,that u wont ever let a drop of tear stroll down these cheeks ,that u wont treat me the way he did ,that u'll say u love me everyday? All those things i still remember. But day by day all those things are fading away.....Im ur toy meh? Excuse me ,im not ur toy!! I thought u were diffrnt....maybe u are but in some way or another ,ur just like him. Ur gonna hurt me......Well as far as ur words have said ,u've made me cry ,u dun say u love me everyday ,more like im saying it everyday and ur going further n further as we speak. Sometimes is it just me thinking too much....but when we see ,u deny it all the time....its coz u knw ur wrong and u know im right...... Im preparing myself...trust me ,its hard but what to do ,u made me this way....... The day i walk away ,i hope u realised that maybe i was right. Sometimes when u pick up a stone ,u'll never know that stone could be a diamond......I aint no stone baby! Im that diamond that ur about to throw.....Dont regret later on. When u do ,its probably too late :) Just so we clear ,Yes ,I do love you. I just wanna know if u still love me too...

Circus Depression :)

Disaster...

Hard to let go...

Its really hard to let you go ,knowing that its been months already and we've met new people. But going to places that has memories doesnt seem to get you off my head. When i was with you ,all i could see was you alone ,and now that you're gone ,i realise that there are so many waiting for me to say yes. I cant do this anymore. Its all because of you i learnt new things. Its because of you my attitude changed. Its because of you now i lost my best friend i cared more than anything. I really wish i could turn back time and atleast say "NO" when u asked. But well life moves on...Its just i cant forget the name we made ,our cousins made n we accepted...Its my favourite name until now.."kreenya"....its hard to remove your memories...thats why we are both meeting other people. I cant believe that u ,who used to want me so badly..actually just let go of me that easily....well...whatever we use to say was wrong. Our love story isnt a fairytale and it cant be like others..Well..it isnt a fairytale and it is exactly like others..Theres nothing different about it......

I'm Missing You....

• Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky. So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars, it is all your fault. You made me miss you too much!
•  A hug for you means I need you. A kiss for you means I love you. A call for you means I’m missing you. 
•  I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you. 
• Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.
•  To me you are my rose; every day when I see a beatiful rose I think of you, and miss you, and hope to hold you in my arms.

My once upon a time mistake...

My once upon a time is all gone....i met someone who became apart of me for a long time. Until i felt so comfortable with that person ,it ended when that person met someone new. Seriously! WTH!...Ok la...i dont really care bout the i'll be with you forever kinda thing....and i can never imagine me being with someone other than you and all that crap....I dun give a Damn!....U actually accepted the fact that we were over without even telling me...And texting to do so is so JERK-ISH....cmon la...Be a man n face it....anyways...U said im still your best friend like i used to...what happen to that??....Dont i have the rights to gossip with you too....There is another thing that ur changing....whats the point of being my friend...Well ,guess what!! I dun wanna be your best friend anymore...I'd rather be your hi bye friend...I heard you're proposing to someone on her birthday....When i asked you what are you up to?...what you said...nothing much!...Wei ,honestly...dont i need to know as well ,as it is gave me the "Best Friend" status right?...Then...Why never tell?...I had to find out from other people first before actually hearing you say it...Well..i have news too...I have someone in my life too...and i dont need you. It's just a waste of my time and tears...Its not like you ever cared. Even after everything ,i still cared but you remained heartless. I've decided ,since you dont seem to care anymore neither will i care. Well ,you're making a mistake of your life....choose someone wisely.. I made a mistake saying "yes" to you....I realised it already...Well i met someone who i never regret being with and never will i regret also. Live a Happy Life.... :) and im living MY HAPPY LIFE!

I Will Be.....:'(

I Will Be

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain ,the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye
And now I know how far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time i'll never let you go

I will be all that you want
And get myslef together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life ,I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that i had everything
I didnt know what life could bring
But now i see ,honestly
You're the one thing i got right
The only one i let inside
Now i can breathe cause you're here with me

And if i let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause i will never let you go

I will be all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life ,I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Cause without you I cant sleep
Im not gonna ever let you leave
You're all i've got ,you're all i want

Yeah and without you ,I dont know what i'd do
I could never ever live a day without you
Here with me ,do you see ,you're all i need?

And i will be all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day
And make everything okay
I will be all that you want
And get myself together

Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life ,you know i'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

                                                                                              by Avril  Lavigne

Your Heart's Vacancy...

-Heart Vacancy-

I feel your heart cry for love,
But you won't let me make it right.
You were hurt, but I decided,
That you were worth the fight.
Every night, you lock up,
You won't let me come inside.
But the look in your eyes,
As I can turn the tide.

In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
I can tell you can fit one more.
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,
I don't care who was there before.

I feel your heart cry for love,
Then you act like there's no room.
Room for me, or anyone,
"Don't disturb" is all I see.
Close the door, turn the key,
On everything that we could be.
If loneliness would move out,
I'd fill the vacancy. 

This ain't the Heartbreak Hotel,
Even though I know it well.
Those no shows, they sure tell,
In the way you hold yourself.
Don't you fret, should you get,
Another cancellation.
Give me a chance I'd make a,

Permanent reservation. 

P.S. I love you sayang :)

A story to remember...

It was the mid of october when i first met u. I wasnt really that interested at first but my girls told me that if u would talk to me and if u were to get close to me ,i should agree because they said that you might be the best one for me. I agreed to that. They planned many ways for me to get to know you. I kept meeting you at functions. Saw u noticing from a distance. I even caught a glimpse of you smiling and it looked so sweet. :).

Days ,weeks ,even months passed. My family adored you. I started knowing you.Became your best friend. Shared everything. One day ,on the 11/04/2010 ,you proposed. I agreed as i was waiting for you to propose. We got together and was very happy with each other. We talked online ,we even talked the whole day even when there is nothing to talk about. People was curious as they ask "You guys talk from morning till night""What do you guys talk about all day?". I say "whatever we talk about ,its always the main thing i smile every morning till night when i close my eyes". We then use to meet at weddings and many more. Things became interesting for us. I really enjoyed being with you. With you ,i feel different as you told me things i never believed in. You said i could smile all day and it would make you happy to see me smile. You even said that i looked good without make-up. A few months passed but we were as happy as anybody else. :).

We then reached the month of June. It was one of the nights where i stayed back with my cousins at their place. You were there. I was happy to see you as i always am just to see you. we talked the whole night until 7am and didnt feel like shutting our eyes. I was really happy that i had someone who loved me for me.We split the next morning as i had to go home. We were both sad ,yes ,but we still never let the sadness get to us. Months passed after that and here it is ,Its been 10 months we were together. I was very happy with you and thought you were the best person who came into my life and changed everything humanly possible. Suddenly a moment came where you started ignoring me. You hung up on me and switched off your phone everytime i called. You never did reply my messages. It hurt alot to go through that. On valentines day ,i waited the whole day for your call to wish me but you didnt. I thought maybe you would be busy and didint have the time. But never did i see your gift coming to me 2 days later. Well ,2 days later ,i got a text from you saying that everything is over. :(.. I shattered in a million pieces as i didnt expect such a thing. I had my mind set that that was my valentines day gift. It was a sucky one but i got a gift at the end of the day. I cried for days and nights ,even weeks and even when you started ignoring me. I even cry now everytime i remember the moments we shared and things we used to do ,talk about ,and share. From the most smartest things to the most dumbest thing in the world we've done ,i miss them all very much.After loosing you ,i realise i do look good without make up.I even stopped using make up except for grand functions.I realise all the things you used to tell me and i didnt listen ,well they are all true and they all suit me the most.You knew me that well and i guess you were right abut everything from the beginning of our love story. I miss you still. But im happy having you as my friend than not having you at all. I still love you but i'll try not to show that i do. Everytime you walk in and out of my head ,it hurts so much that i enjoy it when you walk in but i drop dead to see you walk out. My friends say that one day you will know what i felt for you and maybe will understand but some people say that i should move on and let you go. Thats the problem ,i try and try to move on but everytime i do ,your memory just flows in my head that i cant move on. I wish things could be the way it used to. I wished we were still together and i wish one day i wake up and on that day i see you kneel down and propose to me once again.But for now ,its the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life as things start to change and take place....

:(

-Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him

-Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don’t deserve me. They’re right, you don’t deserve me, but  
I deserve you.
 
-love hurts when u break up with someone ,hurts even more when someone
breaks up wit u but love hurts the most when the person u love has no idea how u feel.